October 2011
6 posts
WatchHappy Halloween party people!
Watch
Uh Oh
M: Life in Costa Rica has grown strange, dear reader, in ways that no bulleted list can capture. Don’t worry, I’m not going to make you read a poem about my feelings. God knows there exist several other, less effective methods of communication between bulleted lists and poems and today, for sport, I will employ perhaps the least effective of all: the blog post that features wikipedia...
September 2011
7 posts
Female hair products present: Baldi Hot Springs
Immerse yourself luxuriously in the warm shimmering waters of Baldi Hot Springs. Experience the nutrient-rich, luxurious, moisturizing, all-natural heat of the volcano as it exquisitely surrounds your exquisite body like the loving touch of ten thousand silk scarves from your monogamous partner. Relish the lava-infused droplets of beautiful, sensual water falling on your lashes like a gentle...
Male hair products present: Baldi Hot Springs
Men, get ready to get your soak on at Baldi Hot Springs, where our state-of-the-art, scientifically engineered piping system turns geothermally heated groundwater into ten thousand tons of extreme hydrokinetic whoop-ass. Microscopic tephra assault your skin and muscles as linear induction motors propel you at lightning speeds down our water slides to the pools below where bikini-clad women, made...
Cahuita
Man, we’ve been disloyal! Cheating on our trusty audience with, you know, real life. Sorry about that. Please take us back. Please? We’ll tell you what we’ve been doing…
First of all, since we last spoke, we’ve procured a beautiful two-bedroom apartment in Quepos, and you know what that means—the hustle and bustle of packing, unpacking, decorating, adjusting. More...
WatchJust another indulgent monkey video.
WatchArenal Volcano outside the town of Fortuna. According to legend (see: concrete, recently documented history) there is an underwater village at the bottom of the lake on the left.
Manuel Antonio
M: Good day sir or madam. We recently spent a week in Quepos and Manuel Antonio and we have reached a level of expertise that can only be described as extreme. Please consider our findings and compare them with your own.
We stayed at a place called Hotel Malinche. You may or may not know La Malinche as the Nahua woman who betrayed Montezuma by becoming translator and lover to Hernan Cortés. The...
August 2011
24 posts
Jaco
M + K: Jacó (pronounced hah-KOH) is the unofficial capital of US tourism in Costa Rica, known for big waves and exciting nightlife. We stayed in a hotel which smelled like a toilet cake on purpose and got some pretty fancy coconut encrusted fish tacos at a tiny taco bar with a menu that looked like an infographic of agricultural statistics. Jacó has a wealth of lackluster souvenir shops that all...
Oh my gosh
M + K: We have uploaded some photos to a facebook album for those of you whose photo thirst cannot be quenched by a single blog alone. Please enjoy them by clicking on the following link, which we are somehow unable to embed:
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150302602542140.354489.512382139&l=dae0fa278c&type=1
More to come about Jacó and Manuel Antonio!
We have momentarily surrendered the computer to...
Malinche: The tiger-sun was about to pounce when a trap door opened up beneath it. Now it is night, and cooling off, and the towel on the bed has been reincarnated as a heart with a lipstick stain and bed bugs. The heart awaits its tourist and cradles a soap. The tourist has died in a freak accident. This is in her mother’s mind. In real life she is alive. The heart becomes irritated and...
Montezuma
M + K: We spent almost a week in Montezuma, and as such we feel well qualified to present to you a bulleted list of its traits. The town is so small that we were able to come to know it intimately in a short amount of time, and we now pass that knowledge on to you, free of charge.
I am not a scientist, but I would recommend, based on my limited and regrettable experience, that you not drink the...
Watch
The Cheese Man
M+ K: We are dreadfully behind, and for that we are sorry. We have been busy feeling cripplingly reminiscent of things as they happen to us.
Last we spoke, we were leaving San Jose the morning after the El Pueblo affair. Despite the blood pact we made with Robert to go to Cahuita (he was a very, very nice man), we decided to make Montezuma, a tiny but colorful beach town, our first stop. We spent...
El Pueblo
K: Kli here writing to you under the cool breeze of our room’s fan, which appears in fact to be a camcorder with a green propeller on it.
One thing Trixx forgot to mention in his last post (he might not be ready to talk about it for a while, understandably) was our trip to El Pueblo, an adobe multiplex on the northern outskirts of San Jose consisting of more than 40 clubs, 12 bars, and, at...
San Jose
For the Spanish version, haz click aqui.
The pedestrian malls are dominated by the scents of hair gel and hot denim and the sounds of women selling scratch lotto tickets and fresh fruit. There was a woman outside of out hotel room hawking what looked like raw ground beef from a chessboard, which she advertised by repeating an incomprehensible phrase in iambic tetrameter every thirty seconds,...
Segundo
M: Matt here. Much has transpired, and I will do my best to capture it in this font, but it is going to be difficult.
I believe that last we spoke, I was asking if you wanted to go outside, and then I never took you outside. Please forgive me, it wasn’t that exciting out there anyway. The last video was from Hotel Luisiana in Santa Ana, a suburb of San Jose, which was nice enough but felt...
WatchM: We used a computer we found under a rock to record this video of our hotel room in Hotel Luisiana in Santa Ana, which is just west of San Jose. We got this room for free and we still don’t understand how.
Primer
M + K: Welcome to our digital cyber travel blog. Here we will record our experiences abroad in Costa Rica, which began yesterday on the eighth of August. What you will be shown here is a raw and uncut look at what happens when two people with wayward tendencies show up in San Jose with a pocket full of colones (that’s money here, named after a guy who killed a bunch of people and left; you...
